Friday, November 22, 2019

Attention Remember Radio Employees





REMEMBER RADIO 

NEW RULES FOR ALL WORKERS

This is a notice from the human resources department of Remember Radio
In an effort to increase productivity and keep Remember Radio from going out of business, please note the latest policy changes going into effect next Monday for all Remember Radio employees.

SICK DAYS:  We will no longer accept a doctor's note as proof of illness.  If you are able to go to the doctor's,  you are able to come to work.

PERSONAL DAYS:  Each employee will receive 52 personal days a year.  They are called Sunday.  Enjoy them!

BEREVEMENT LEAVE:  Funerals are no longer an excuse for missing work.  There is nothing you can do for dead friends or relatives, they're already dead.  You should be at work.

LUNCH BREAK:  Overweight employees will no longer be allowed to take a lunch break.  If you're not sure why, please look in the mirror.

BATHROOM BREAK:  Entirely too much time is being spent in bathrooms.  There is now a strict three minute time limit in the stalls.  At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open, your picture will be taken and posted on facebook.

Thank you all for adhering to the new rules from your Human Resources Department of Remember Radio.   

The lives of disgruntled Remember Radio Workers are about to get worst than they already are.

For more information, please visit 

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