HURRICANES - Jack Blanchard's Column 04/15/19

HURRICANES

 
It's mid-April, and we're already thinking about storms with names.
Here's my account of a hurricane we enjoyed a couple of years ago.
*     *     *

We're busy packing for hurricane Irma.
We're throwing each other into plastic bags.
If we pack all our irreplaceables
Misty will have to leave me behind.

The stations were out of gas, Publix was out of water,
but they had Peanut Butter Cups so I had 4 to cheer me up.
We're going to a local motel Sunday.
If the storm comes sooner we can't get there.
All hotel rooms are booked solid.

We're going to be sitting in the hotel lobby
from midnight Saturday till 3PM Sunday.
I hope they don't mind our drinking beer,
smoking cigars, and having sex.

Late night watching the Ch. 2 weather guy,
I said, "I think he's growing a mustache".
Misty said, "It's the shadow of his nose."
I said, "That's an old song."

When we were checking into the motel,
people were sitting around the dining area eating breakfast.
They were the exact same people from the hurricane last year,
sitting in the same seats... like some kind of weird painting.
There may have been dogs playing poker.

I was carrying loads of stuff in the rain. A guy said, "You're all wet."
I said, "I must have sneezed while peeing."

My hands are so swollen I can't get my ring off.
I'll have to use the can opener.

We heard there was a missing cat in the hotel.
Later, at the height of the storm,
Misty said, "I just saw something fly by the window!"
I said, "Was it a cat?"

We were so tired from all the preparations and loading & unloading
that we slept through the actual hurricane.

One more hurricane and they're gonna hear from me!

Jack Blanchard

Jack Blanchard & Misty Morgan...
Home Page: http://www.jackandmisty.net
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/jackandmisty
Billboard Duet of the Year, Grammy and CMA Finalists. 

© Jack Blanchard, 2019.