BEING ALIVE IS WORTH THE HASSLE
For some people the world changes so slowly they hardly notice it.
Things happen on a small familiar set, like a stage play.
For others of us,
our horizons have grown so far apart it's hard to get our bearings.
If I ever do get back to my old neighborhood
I'm sure I'll run into a guy I used to know
for whom nothing much has changed.
Reality is fluid. The scenery of life changes constantly.
There is only one thing we can depend on,
and that's the thing we fear most: Change.
Relationships change, that's for sure.
If we're lucky they change into something better...
different, but better.
Misty is my full time family.
After all these years we still have lots to talk about,
and we make each other laugh..
Our occasional arguments last only minutes.
When I was a kid, somebody put up strange billboards.
The first said "IT'S COMING!",
the next said, "WATCH FOR IT!", then "IT'S ALMOST HERE!",
and the last one said "IT'S GONE!"
Christmas is a little like that.
We were in a bad hurricane in Miami in the 60's
The metal posts holding our carport were banging up and down
in the 135 mph wind.
A guy on the radio yelled "Holy crap! The back door just blew off!"
I said, "Isn't he supposed to cheer US up?"
I was sitting by the window listening to the sound of emptiness.
This is not like listening to no sound at all,
because the sound of emptiness contains
all the things you hoped would be in it,
and all the sounds that once were.
ROGER MILLER. Roger Miller walked in on our session at Columbia.
I stopped everything and went to meet him.
I put my hand out and was going to say "I'm a fan of yours."
Before I could, he said "I'm a fan of yours."
A high spot of my life.
RAY STEVENS. I was turned down by Ray Stevens at Monument Records
when I first went to Nashville.
It was OK because I didn't know who he was.
Years later, on the road, we became friendly.
Still later, he started a standing ovation for us at the ASCAP awards.
You should see the tangled web of wires under my computer desk.
I went down there to plug something in and I'm never going back.
I think there's something living in it.
My grammar school was pretty strict,
but they gave us education on par with today's colleges.
In seventh and eighth grades all us boys had to wear ties.
The result was grotesque but funny.
The most popular style was this:
A blue flannel checkered lumberjack shirt
and a bright red rayon clip-on tie with a picture of Popeye on it.
God made me a musician.
When I was a teenager He looked down and said,
"Looks like you need some help getting girls."
I'm writing a jazz song on the catatonic scale.
I'm getting a backache from walking upright.
Evolution is killing me.
If you sign up for the Platinum health care plan,
you get to drive the ambulance.
I recently returned to Buffalo, my home town.
It's nicer than I left it.
Like somebody cleaned up after me.
The sinking of the Titanic must have been a miracle
to the lobsters in the kitchen.
Make the days a little longer.
I don't know where the time has flown.
Lord, I'm having such a good time,
I don't want to go home.